AWARD-WINNING 9-FINGER PEACH COBBLER

Steps:

• Warm the Dutch oven, but do not get it too hot. To test the temperature, get someone else to pick it up out of the fire. IF they yell a lot, stuff their fingers in their mouth, jump around a lot, and revert back to their native tongue, it is probably too hot.
• Pour peaches into the bottom of the dutch oven. Reach in and carefully fish out the can lid you dropped inches Do not put the empty peach can in the oven, there is a limit to how much dietary fiber people can tolerate!
• Open the can of cream soda and pour it gently over the peaches. When you pour the pop on the peaches, use your good hand (the one with four fingers) in a gentle counter clock-wise motion if north of the equator, or clock-wise if south of the equator. It helps to hum a little tune and do a gentle rocking motion with your upper body. We call this technique the 'Swirl from Epanema".
• Dump cake mix evenly on top of the peach and pop concoction. Get a small stick and wipe in on your friends pants. Poke the stick into the mix with your bad hand (the one with five fingers). You may poke, but you must not stir. This is very important.
• Sprinkle the cinnamon on top of the dry cake mix. Best to use your good hand with the missing finger and let the cinnamon trickle out the hole where a finger used to be. You want a dry top and a soggy bottom, king of like your condition after sit on the ground after a rainstorm.
• Put small pats of butter evenly on the top of the dry cake mix. If you have guests who are concerned about too much fat intake, put it on anyway. The great taste of butter with its ill effects far outweigh the negligible benefits of a long and healthy life.
• Put the lid on the oven (not the peach can lid, but the Dutch oven lid). This is very important, because if you forget this step and put charcoal directly on the cobbler it tends to have a nasty flavor. If you forget the lid, just feed the cobbler to Scouts. They will probably not notice any difference compared to what you've fed them before.
• Place the oven on a nice bed of coals. Place coals on top of the lid.
• Cook for about 45 minutes, give or take 10. The bubbling of the liquid will mix the cake and liquid and produce a nice brown crust with gooey bottom.
• When finished, open the lid, savor the aroma and dish up the treat to all those who appreciate good cookings.
• Enjoy!